at an afternoon party

In the beginning of the afternoon, at my friend's house several weeks ago, I had to swallow my pride and words of irritation, while all the middle aged women around me took turns disparaging all non-Indian food.  Why does such a little thing irk me so greatly?  Perhaps it's because I always see little things as representing bigger things, and thus unwittingly compound all difficulties in my life.

"Understand", I stumbled in Urdu, as I always do when my throat is constricted in offense.  "Understand that everyone feels about their own food the way you do about yours."

Seeing that in this group of 5 or 6, not one was moved by my sage words, I decided to go with a different technique - grumpy silence.

I couldn't stay that way for long though.  As the women (meeting together for the first time) got to know one another, let their own defenses and formalities soften up, I also couldn't help but be drawn in.  It was so interesting to observe and listen also, as they brainstormed ideas of what they could do as a group, a little society with a purpose to help their community in small ways.

As the afternoon went on, defenses dropped even more - and then the real conversation began.  For the next hour, there were tears of all emotions, as husband stories were told that tempt a single woman to swear off marriage forever, alongside hilarious teasing that forced delightfully comical personalities out of purdah.  

I would bless anyone who desires it with these moments.  What a gift, to sit surrounded by women whose lives are so different from mine I may as well be from another planet, and see evidence of the One I love.  Who else could've made humans in such a way that in the midst of a tragic life they could still laugh like a bunch of school girls?

Every woman in that group had a ready answer to explain the suffering we had been given witness to.  As for me, in such moments I find I have no answers, and the ones I hear often offend me in all honesty.  I've never been subjected to severe suffering.  But that which I've observed or heard about compels me to prepare myself, to be in a position to bend rather than break under trial.

Perhaps in the preparation, remembering the raucous laughter of these woman would be a good place to start.